In memorium

Editor,

Personal relationships that bind people are often considered the strings or threads by which we hold our lives and memories dear. When a favorite garment, say for example a kilt becomes threadbare in places, it becomes necessary to find the sewing kit and correct the problem while the garment is still otherwise serviceable. Waiting too long, or neglecting the upkeep creates additional stresses, socially and financially.

Examine now how the threads of relationships need to be strengthened. Spending time with people and asking questions about their lives adds to the bonds or emotional threads that join people together. Whether these threads are spun by marriage, childbirth, or even work experience, the very nature of the relationship gives strength to those affected by such connections.

It is possible that the bonds that hold human beings together may become so worn that separation must occur. Most of the time this separation happens as the result of lack of communication or growing apart. Job stress contributes to the distance as minds are occupied by incredible pressure to perform or otherwise hit deadlines. Without careful attention to those relationships affected in such ways, we seemingly do not see the coming despair in those whom we love dearly.

One of my closest friends died this week, a victim of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. I have no idea what was the triggering event for him, the thing or things that clearly deemed to his mind that he had no hope left. What I did know was after I left the same company he worked for over two years ago, my contact with him had waned significantly. I had recently been in closer contact with him and we had even planned to have dinner one day soon. I had no warning of his pending actions which ultimately would lead to his death. It is easy to say, “If only ...”; that somehow taking a more positive step towards reconnecting with him that I could have understood the pain he was not so obviously in.

Hindsight is a good tool to figure out ways to improve things that a learning experience can be gleaned from. Due to the nature of my friend’s passing, I cannot figure out how to repair the kilt for him. Instead, I must apply myself to a better end, to involve myself in the lives of my friends who remain and to honor my friend though a renewed sense of emotional tailoring.

In the spirit of my friend, Neil Wolff, I would humbly ask that each of you take some extra time in the coming days to evaluate your emotional tailoring and renew yourselves to your family and friends. Take the time to talk with your friends and to reach out. Fix their kilt and in doing so, strengthen the emotional threads that will help you survive as well.

God Speed, Neil. You were a brother to me and I shall miss you for the rest of my days.

Mike Rowland,
Peetz, Colo.